He returned from the tearoom (mouth still covered with icing) and stated that he did not like American wedding cake. I asked him what constituted “American” wedding cake. While giving me his usual “you ignorant Canadian” look, he proceeded to tell me that “American” wedding cake was sponge cake with icing, and not the accepted traditional fruitcake.
I casually replied that we’re probably having carrot cake at our wedding. [I did not say that there was no way in hell we would be serving fruitcake at the wedding as it makes me gag].
“Surely not!” he said. He then asked if we would still be having fondant icing…Well no, we’re having the yummy cream cheese icing that goes with carrot cake. He then went on about tradition and the meaning behind fruitcake - basically attacking our decision. I tend to ignore him most days anyways but for some reason, this comment really annoyed me.
I think that it is comments like this one, along with some other beauties regarding our wedding, that make me worried that the Brits travelling over to the wedding may be horrified by some of our “non-traditional” decisions.
Here are a few comments I’ve heard over the past few months:
- "Your bridesmaids are wearing black dresses? But black is only for funerals!”
- “What, no tiara? Surely you must want to wear one!”
- “You’ve been looking for shoes for your wedding at Office (a high street shoe chain)?”
- “You’re going to be making a speech at the wedding? It’s only customary for the Father of the Bride, the groom, and the best man to do so!”
I realize that the old-fashioned mindset reflected in these comments does not apply to all Brits and that I’m also hearing them from Canadian friends, but the incessant questioning is rather disheartening…
Deep down I know that the day is all about us and hopefully it will be a reflection of us and our tastes. Sorry for the whinge!
My ideal wedding cake!
* This man has just revealed that he finished reading Hart’s Rules Handbook of Style for Writers and Editors cover to cover and found it “fascinating”. God help me from hitting him with a large textbook by the end of the day. [No offence to any editors or writers who may find Hart’s rules a useful reference, but I thought this anecdote reflected his pedantic, prickish nature]
8 comments:
Carrot cake is delightful. And who cares about what shoes you are wearing? I had a friend throw a fit when I told her I wanted to wear green shoes at my wedding - she was appalled that I wasn't planning on wearing white ones. Pshaw.
Its your day for you and your husband to be. Its your collective party and there's no need for people to make silly comments over your decisions.
Unless you are making all your bridesmaids wear big marshmallowy dresses. Then other people have every right to intervene!
You could put your bridesmaids in frilly pink dresses, wear plain and boring white shoes, and feed your guests fondant-covered fruitcake that is liable to make them gag... or you can stick to your guns, have the wedding you want, and cherish the memories of what made the day uniquely yours.
As for that least favourite colleague, who cares what he says. He obviously has very few original ideas of his own and could never dream up the stylish original affair you're preparing ;)
Yay for carrot cake :)
OK! That's it! Christopher is getting an @ss-kicking!!!!! Sarah - do not, DO NOT, listen to anyone about YOUR choices for YOUR wedding! I foolishly allowed others to sway and interpret my vision and I ended up with a wedding that I still feel didn't come close to what I had always envisioned and it still makes me sad nearly a year later. Your wedding is going to be sssssooooo beautiful! And you & I share the same feelings on tiaras and cakes! I can't wait to stuff my face full of delicious and wedding-appropriate carrot cake! Everyone will be floored by the gorgeous bride and decor, tastefully and elegantly attired wedding party and the marvelous fest you have planned!
Do not listen to others! Think about when was the last time these people went to a wedding - probably the late 70s/early 80s - times have changed and moreover, they need to respect you, your preferences and your culture!!!!! I'm very angry for you right now! I'll call you on the weekend! (stupid time zones!)
Love & hugs,
Robyn
PS - HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!!! :)
R
I hate fruitcake. Carrot cake and the creamy frosting is the bomb, hold tight to your guns, girl!
Send me a list of these people and I will set them straight personally!!!
In the end people are going to remember how happy and beautiful you were and not whether you wore a tiara or not or what the bridesmaids wore.
It is your day and if you and Lee are happy then everyone else will be happy.
People will always have opinions, but it is only yours and Lees that matter.
I'm serious about the list of people with their unsolicitated opinions... I want to have a chat with them...
IT's all about you guys. F&*K everyone else. Hang in there...don't let the bastards grind you down :)
I know exactly how you feel. I used to work with a guy who gave his opinion on every aspect of my wedding whilst I was planning it and it was usually unwelcome and rude. Sometimes I could rise above his comments but other times they really got to me.
I hate fruitcake too so we had a combination of fruit cake, vanilla sponge and chocolate cake at our wedding and everyone loved it...although the chocolate cake went way too fast and I didn't get any. I also bought my wedding shoes from a high street chain and they were gold and flat but fabulous, and I've worn them since!
I had a blast on my wedding day and I'm sure its becasue we did what we wanted for our day. Ignore what anyone else says. Be original and be you...it's your day!
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