TheMcWoods

The Times has started printing short stories of recently engaged couples similar to the New York Times. I find the stories somewhat nauseating but I can't stop myself from reading them...

Yesterday's paper had one of the funniest:

(The italics are my own).

She originally thought he was a little serious for her “and maybe a little arrogant”. Craig Smith and Sophie Morgan work for the same company, but he is “much more important than me”, she says, “so it never crossed my mind that anything would happen”.

The matchmaking skills of one of Craig’s friends at a boozy office Christmas party put that straight, and the couple bonded over a mutual love of shooting. (It later emerged that Sophie had been primed on the topic and had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, never having been shooting in her life). Her down-to-earth pragmatism “compared to the string of high-maintenance girls” Craig had previously dated stood out. Craig, whom Sophie thought “a charming English gentleman”, whisked her off to the ballet the following evening.

Daily dates over the next two months, during which they would spend hours “lurking in a bar”, followed by a holiday in the Maldives, cemented the relationship. After all, as the bride says, “if you can survive ten solid days with each other without getting bored”, then it must be love.

Craig’s hints about marriage were ignored until a New Year’s Eve spent at Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons. Later in the year, Craig’s bonus “drove me to go” straight down to the jeweller, where he picked up a ring so fabulous that when he got down on one knee at the Ritz, his betrothed was so overwhelmed by the big rock that she forgot to say “yes”.

So why is Craig right for Sophie? “It’s all very cheesy,” she says. “He’s just very selfless, loving and will go out of his way for me.” Happily, the earlier deception about her interest in pheasants did not deter Craig. He has painstakingly introduced her to his chosen sport, and the tweedily attired couple can now disappear into the sunset, all guns blazing.

And why is Sophie so perfect for the groom? “I knew I wanted to marry her after about six weeks,” says Craig. “It is quite rare to find women who shoot — people are always fascinated that two people who shoot are getting married. We also never argue, which is really quite stunning.”

The fist-sized diamond has set a precedent for the couple’s lifestyle, as Craig says he seems to have already “corrupted her in terms of good wine and restaurants”. Wedding plans are going “fantastically”.

The couple are planning a traditional wedding at Highclere Castle in Berkshire, complete with white dress for the bride, morning dress for the guests, and a sommelier to ensure the wines are tip-top. Craig has also insisted that the couple have a Rolls-Royce Phantom for their special day.

Are they worried about the future? “Not really”, says the groom, “we already feel like Mr and Mrs.”

To each his own, but I find advertizing the fact that you bought your fiancee a 'fist-sized' diamond somewhat offensive (and somewhat funny).

I asked Lee if there really people in the world like this. He responded yes - rich, English people who want to show off that they have money. He also added that things may change considering the current economic climate as the groom works in the City....